What If Things Go Wrong?

Published February 14, 2010
By Robert Knox Kennedy

You are thinking about boarding school. But you've heard that the work is really tough and that they will expel you in a heart beat if you are caught doing anything. Let's look at the facts.

The Academic Work is Difficult

There's no escaping the truth about academics. They can be difficult. There are a lot of subjects. Some of the material is hard to get into, maybe even impossible to understand the first time you encounter it.

The difference between taking on challenging work in a boarding school versus a public school simply is that nobody is going to let you sink. Why? Well, for one, the classes are small. Your teachers will know the instant you are having problems grasping a math concept, for example. Humiliation in front of your peers won't happen in a boarding school. If you don't believe me, read the codes of conduct for any boarding school and see just how seriously they take community spirit and concern for all members of the school community.

How can they enforce such an idealistic approach? By example. You see, boarding schools don't just teach physics or Chinese then close the classroom door and forget about you until next class. Oh no! Because you are part of a residential community which learns together, eats together, plays sports together and watches TV together. It's like one big family.

I can hear you thinking "But I am an only child. My mother is CEO of a multi-national corporation and travels all the time. My parents divorced when I was 12. What do I know about family? I don't even know which of our five homes is really home.  Why should I even care?"

That's just it. Boarding school can fill in all kinds of gaps in your life. Not just the academics either. Your whole life. It's this shaping thing which boarding school communities do very well which is probably the best thing about residential schools. When you are there 24/7, you learn to tolerate different opinions. You learn to appreciate the diversity which is an integral part of most boarding schools. You will be exposed to all kinds of things - good, positive things - which are hard to find in most public high schools.

Finally, every one of your teachers wants you to be the best you can be. They themselves set a terrific example of academic hard work and integrity. Look at how many faculty have master's and doctorate degrees. And they actually get to teach you. Discipline is a non-issue in boarding school. They will stretch you and make you learn stuff you never thought you would ever learn. The truth is that you will probably do more academic work and to a higher standard than the work you will encounter at college.

Now, what about discipline. What happens if I break a major rule?

It depends on the school. But let's understand something very basic about boarding schools:  the school chose you, it selected you to be a part of its community. Yes, it costs a lot of money for this privilege. But they wanted you. Following the rules at school is just part of growing up, after all. I mean, you have to drive on the right because it's a law, right? You have to pay taxes. It's the law.

That's all the school is doing. It's organizing or codifying its expectations of each member of the community in a document called a code of conduct or something like that. The code of conduct will not be some mysterious document everybody talks about but nobody sees. It will be put in front of you the first day you arrive at school. It will explained in great detail. You will sign the document and agree to abide by its rules.

Unlike a public school your teachers and fellow students will know if you are depressed or having problems. Hiding behind a wall of alcohol or marijuana won't be an option because 99% of the time your classmates and teachers will have noticed that something's wrong. You will have had a chance to get the counseling and guidance you need. Professionally too.

Think of boarding school as an adventure. Sure you could stay home and mosey off to the local high school and be a number. Or a nerd. Or a jock. Or be categorized in whatever way is the vogue of the moment. But you are you. A boarding school will draw you in with its warmth and its concern for your well being. A boarding school will show you how to accomplish things. All kinds of things. Not just in the classroom either. On the stage. On the football field. With your new classmates who will become friends for life.


Resources


Robert Knox Kennedy is a consultant who has written extensively about private schools.


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