Pomfret School - Review #1

What makes Pomfret stand out, in my experience, is how skilled it is at maintaining its reputation through image management. When prospective students visit, the school organizes a full performance—students are coached to act cheerful, the campus is polished, and negative realities are hidden. It’s a place that knows how to sell itself, but once you’re enrolled, you may find the real environment very different from the one you were shown.

The best thing that happened to me in boarding school was learning how to survive and advocate for myself completely on my own. While the environment was often difficult, it pushed me to grow stronger, more independent, and more resilient. I also benefited from a strong academic education, which helped prepare me for future challenges and gave me confidence in my abilities.

If I could do it over, I would have left. I stayed too long hoping things would get better, but they didn’t. My biggest advice to anyone considering boarding school—especially Pomfret—is to talk to real students who currently go there, not just the ones handpicked to give tours. Shadow someone. Ask hard questions. Make sure you truly understand what you're walking into. The experience is not always what it seems from the outside.

What I liked most about Pomfret were a few truly supportive teachers who made a real effort to connect, and the fact that the school offered free therapy services. Having access to mental health support was important, and in some cases, it made a real difference.

My advice: ask real students—not just tour guides—about their experience before deciding. Look past the polished image Pomfret presents to visitors. If you’re already enrolled, find the people who make you feel safe and supported, and hold onto them. You’ll need them. I wouldn’t recommend any specific dorms, because placement often comes down to favoritism, not fairness. As for the snack bar—just be grateful when it’s open, and be nice to Mr. Rodman behind the counter at the Tuck. And if you need a breather, the nature around campus is one of the few things that really is as peaceful as it looks.

Pomfret’s academics offered a solid range of classes, especially in the humanities and arts. Some teachers were genuinely passionate and supportive, and I appreciated the opportunities for discussion-based learning in smaller classes. However, the overall experience could really vary depending on the teacher. While there were advanced and unique electives available, access often felt limited to certain students, and the workload could be inconsistent—sometimes overwhelming without much support, sometimes just busywork. I valued the few classes where I felt seen and encouraged to think independently, but I wish that environment had been more consistent across departments.

Pomfret’s athletics program is highly emphasized and taken seriously, with many students participating in multiple seasons. While I appreciated the structure and sense of routine that sports provided, the culture around athletics could be intense and, at times, harmful. What I valued most were the friendships I built with teammates and the moments of genuine support we gave each other when the program itself fell short.During my time at Pomfret, I played on a team led by a coach who holds significant power at the school. She's deeply embedded in the institution—her husband also holds a high-ranking position, and all of her children are Pomfret alumni. On my first visit to campus, she was warm, friendly, and welcoming. The school itself seemed vibrant and kind. But I now understand that the administration orchestrates that entire image: when prospective students visit, the school alerts everyone in advance. We're told to smile, dress well, hold doors, and essentially perform a version of Pomfret that does not exist the rest of the time. That coach I met on my visit? I never saw that version of her again.From my very first season, I quickly realized something was off. It was common—expected even—for girls to leave practices and games crying. If we lost to teams far stronger than us, we weren’t taught or supported—we were berated. Our coach has a reputation, even beyond Pomfret, for being “harsh,” but that word doesn’t capture the reality. She regularly screamed at us from the sidelines, threw tantrums, insulted players to other players on the bench, and clearly had favorites. Unfortunately, I wasn’t one of them.In my first week, I walked off the field alone after a tough game—isolated, new, and still finding my place socially. A senior teammate walked beside me and tried to comfort me. She and her parents had been reporting this coach's behavior since her own freshman year, along with many other families. She said something I’ll never forget: “I’m sorry. I don’t know why she doesn’t like you. She’s just like this. You have to ignore her.” That comment haunted me. The idea that her abuse was normalized—that we were just supposed to accept it—was deeply disturbing.I tried to let her comments roll off me. After one bad game, she told me she would rather put in someone who didn’t even know how to play than let me continue. She said I was "abysmal." When I confronted her later, she flat-out denied it. That kind of manipulation and gaslighting was constant. Still, I endured it in silence for years, until my senior year when I could no longer tolerate the favoritism and mistreatment.This coach used her position to give enormous advantages to the players she liked. She brought them home-cooked meals. She had private meetings with them to help with college recruiting. She used her connections to set them up with clinics and coaches. I had told her during my very first year that I wanted to play in college, but she only helped me once, and only after I demanded

Pomfret offers strong resources in the arts, with beautiful studio spaces and opportunities to explore visual art, music, and theatre. I appreciated how the visual arts program encouraged creativity and personal expression, and some of the teachers in that department were genuinely supportive and passionate. While access to certain programs could feel limited depending on your schedule or social circles, the arts were a meaningful outlet for many students, including myself.

Extracurricular activities at Pomfret exist, but staff provide minimal support or encouragement to keep them thriving. Many clubs struggle to attract members because students often feel too embarrassed or socially pressured not to join. As a result, participation is low, and these opportunities frequently fail to build the kind of inclusive community they’re meant to foster.

Dorm life at Pomfret is heavily influenced by bias and social status. Students with more influence or connections are often placed in preferred dorms and rooms, while others have little say. The girls’ dorms are often toxic and exclusive, with frequent theft making it hard to feel safe. Food availability in dorms depends entirely on the dorm parent—some dorms have parents who bring snacks regularly, but many do not, and there’s no consistent food kept out for students. This inconsistency led to many hungry nights for me and others.

The quality of food at Pomfret was mostly poor, though the dining staff were incredibly kind and worked hard with limited resources. I know that many students altogether opted out of dining at the dining hall. Some students prepared their meals with the limited resources available, while most ordered food for every meal. I cannot imagine the debt they are putting on their parents' credit cards. The cafeteria hours were often inconvenient—especially for students like me who had late practices and activities. For example, in the spring, I had practice at 5 PM followed by orchestra, and dinner closed at 7 PM. By the time I finished orchestra and went to the study hall, I was often very hungry with no access to food. This made managing my energy and focus challenging during busy days.

The best part about the area around Pomfret is the natural surroundings, which are peaceful and beautiful. There’s a nice nearby café, but beyond that, there’s very little to do. Most outings were limited to trips to McDonald’s or Target. Honestly, the town offers about as much excitement or entertainment as an empty cardboard box.

The social scene at Pomfret is one of the most toxic environments a teenager can be placed in. It's dominated by cliques, and unless you're white, conventionally attractive, or eager to please those who are, you're often excluded. Many students are labeled "quiet" when in reality, they’re just shut out of the group that unofficially runs the school—teachers included. Those outside the circle miss out on casual, supportive relationships with faculty or chances like going off campus. Any behavior seen as different is labeled "cringe," and social life mostly revolves around gossip, vaping, weed, and alcohol in dorm rooms.